normal and uncommon

sometimes i feel like i'm living in the 1% community of christians in the entire world that aren't absolute morons. is it sometimes, or all of the time?

where did these people learn these ridiculous ideas? who taught them that it's "good" to be ignorant about religions, science, politics, and sex? why do they act completely out of their minds sometimes? what are they actually doing when they're "spending time with the Lord?" do they just sit there crouched in an uncomfortable position, hands folded, eyes closed, muttering to themselves morologic gibberish until they feel better? or pour over theological books for hours and write hundreds of pages about what that one word in revelations means? i mean, seriously, where are all the logical, practical people outside the few i know?

recently, after my fling with studio 60, i finally became fed up with all the inaccurate portrayals of christians in the media. can you say, "cliche?" yes, i know. but follow me down to rabbit hole, won't you?

it was never a curiosity before. i mean, it's only natural that most writers, producers, directors, and actors making the stuff that get the most audiences would know nothing about a belief that most of them find archaic, offensive, and controlling. they make plenty of shows and films about medicine, government, and law to which they are oblivious, and it shows in the inaccurate rubbish of all their particulars. my epidemiologist friend and i used to spend numerous delightful evenings laughing at the logic behind many episodes of house and star trek.

however, once in a while, though imaginative and far-fetched, we come across a generally possible depiction of science, politics, family, world affairs, and life. (though, i will say that for the most part, these illustrations, as with all art, were meant to present aspects of reality rather than the whole and so are yet quite departed from an entire representation) it isn't so different from the reality that we, as the audience, have come to know that we detach ourselves from it. that is the very backbone of narrative--to capture the perceiver with the believability so that one may take him anywhere one wants.

yet it's nearly impossible for me to follow my story-tellers anywhere when they incorporate christians into their stories because i simply cannot believe it any longer. like when koreans watch "lost" and immediately become disillusioned with all the terrible korean being spoken. no matter how much i want to believe. it is impossible.

so, WHY is there so little to no believable christian characters in american cimena/television? well, that's an entire theological book all on its own. however, one thing that's struck me recently is this:
THAT THERE ARE NO NORMAL CHRISTIANS AROUND.

alright, to be fair, i actually mean... around those who are writing and making these art pieces.

there are insane christian characters who kneel in the middle of a business meeting to pray and sleep with their bosses on tv. there are characters who go around in thick knitted sweaters condemning people and reciting bible verses from the king james version and saying that sex is a sin. and there are minister characters who look cool and swear and date non-christians and pray almost all day every day.

where in the darkness of aphrodite's butt-hole did these writers get these ideas?!

i submit that they got them from real life. no wonder non-christians are confused about what christians are like. there are very very few actually normal ones living.

i'm writing right now

the first choice to make in the celebrate recovery program is the reality choice. i admit that i have no control over my problems, my past, my pain, and other people and that i'm helpless in dealing with my hurts, habits, and hang-ups. trying to control these things in my life only results in failure, frustration, guilt, and fatigue. why is guilt the only "g" word? man... that's going to bother me forever now. ugh.

reel it in...

ok, so here is my real-life example of the truth in the need for the first choice. i tried to set up this blog and write in it every day. i mustered up my will-power and made the commitment.

enter humanity.

i wish there was a letter in the english alphabet that stands for that sound that comes out when someone's stepped on your foot. i shall represent that sound thus: "@#%*"

now where was i?

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honestly, i have no idea what i wanted to write about today. the things that run around in my mind are incoherent due to the cumulative 10 hours of sleep it had this past week, coupled with the days packed with interacting with humans back to back. oh how i love the humans.

again, that thing i do that bites me in the butt--sincerity that sounds sarcastic.

alrighty, that will be the next topic of interest for me. love for humans.

art monkey butt franks.

late in the game

so, after what feels like an entire generation after the beginning of xanga and friendster (oh man, i just realized there might now be people out there who don't even know what those things are), i've begun another one of these things. however, this time, unfortunately, it wasn't obligatory. is that unfortunate or courageous?

insecure much?

this is how many of my unnecessary conflicts with people have occurred. and also why watching "curb your enthusiasm" is sometimes therapeutic. i say or do things out of simple honesty, which hold contrary cultural definitions, and unintentionally communicate something absolutely the opposite of what i'm thinking or believing. thank God for larry david and his stupid antics. there really is someone out there like me!

does it concern me that that someone is a cynical, balding jewish writer/comedian in the winter of his life? no. maybe it should concern him that he's very much like a sarcastic, 30 year old, korean, christian illustrator/missionary girl. right now, nobody wants to be any of those things... except maybe an illustrator. but not even that because of the economy. i just met a janitor at olive garden the other day who graduated from cal arts with an animation degree.